ASUnited (Arizona State University WeBlog)

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Okay seriously, who came up with this outlandish idea to “keep pedestrians safe?” The “Walk Your Wheels” campaign that ASU is rigorously advertising this semester is a decree to all students who ride skateboards, bikes, rollerblades or scooters through ASU’s sidewalk pathways to and from class to “walk” their bikes or boards.

So instead of actually riding my bike, you want me to get off and walk it to class. Why did I bring my bike to school again? Oh you’re right, because it looks cool. I didn’t really want to use it for what’s it’s designed for. I mean that’s crazy right? Not to mention extremely dangerous.

I can only imagine the boneheads that came up with this campaign. I see a bunch of bleached blonde, cake faced, fake tan freshmen sitting in a student body meeting at Starbucks when one bright young broad stands up and says, “I am just like, so sick of stupid skateboarders almost like literally hitting me on my way to class. Can we like… do something about that or something?”

But seriously people, just watch out for the “wheelers,” they’ll watch out for you, and we’ll all be just fine. I haven’t heard reports of any SERIOUS injuries sited due to reckless skateboarders running into other walkers. In fact, I think the nurse’s office probably gets more “stiletto rolled ankles” than pedestrian/rollerblade collision injuries. Maybe we should implement the “Saw Your Stilts” campaign instead… #justsayin

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